Numb
by Orabit's Madness
Summary: This is after SnakeHead, Alex can not take it anymore, MI6 had used him and he didn't want them to do it to anyone one else, So he decides to show them what they had done to him, SongFic Numb By Linkin Park, slight Deathfic, u better like it as I wrote cr


Numb, Alex rider Fan Fiction

Alex couldn't take it anymore. MI6 had used him so Much just to get a mission done even basically leaving him to die so as to get more information.

-

_I'm Tired of being what want me to be_

_Feeling so faithless whilst under the surface_

_Don't know what you're expecting of me_

_Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes_

_-_

All the blackmail just to get him on a mission. To make him their tool, to use his age and all his past activities to their advantage, making him their ultimate spy. They didn't understand the horror that it was to see the things that he had seen

-

_(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)_

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you _

_(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)_

_Every second I waste is more than I can take_

_-_

They had made him so used to all the things he was doing he couldn't be normal anymore he lost all his friends cause they didn't believe only one ever stayed but he couldn't feel like he was normal anymore, he was always paying attention to those around for danger he couldn't stay connected to anyone because he was scared they were going to get hurt, All he wanted was for all of this SPY business to have never have happened

-

_I've become so numb_

_I can't feel you there_

_Become so Tired_

_So much more aware _

_I'm becoming this_

_All I want to do _

_Is be more like me_

_And be less like you_

_-_

They were basically sending him over and over to his death to get the job done controlling his life so that they would get him when he was just getting used to life again or even just not believing in him when he found something

He wasn't going to take it anymore, he was going to finish it all so that they would understand what they had done and make sure that they never did it again

-

_Can't you see that you're smothering me_

_Holding to tightly _

_Afraid to lose control_

_Cause that you thought I would be_

_Is falling apart, Right in front of you_

___

_(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the under tow)_

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you _

_(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)_

_Every second I waste is more than I can take_

_

_I've become so numb_

_I can't feel you there_

_Become so Tired_

_So much more aware _

_I'm becoming this_

_All I want to do _

_Is be more like me_

_And be less like you_

-

They had got him so used to his job he wouldn't be able to live life fully anymore so he decided something drastic was called for to make them understand their mistake

-

_And I know I may yearn the feeling too_

_But I know you were just like me with someone disappointed in you _

-

Alex walked to the Royal & General Bank and asked the lady at the front desk to give a letter to Alan Blunt and Tulip Jones. He knew it would take a while for them to actually read them. But this would give him enough time to do what he needed.

-

_I've become so numb _

_I can't feel you there_

_Become so tired_

_So much more Aware _

_I'm Becoming this _

_All I want to do_

_Is be more like me_

_And be less like you_

-

Alex walked out onto the street he looked out onto the street to find that the traffic was going fast, It was all He needed he walked onto the road in front of a truck and waited for oblivion.

-

_I've become so numb_

_I can't feel you there_

_(I'm tired of being what you want me to be)_

_I've become so numb_

_I can't feel you there_

_(I'm Tired of being what you want me to be)_

-

On the 6 O'clock news that night it was reported a boy had been hit by a truck as he crossed the road, supposedly he had died instantly, with the traffic going as fast as it was and that it being a truck that hit him, he didn't have a chance.

Tom knew that Alex had walked in front of that truck on purpose; he could see how much that his mate had been suffering after each and every one of those missions; he wished so much that he could have helped him some way; Alex had even left him a letter before he had gone to his death it said:

_Dear Tom _

_I know I am dead by the time you have seen this and I just wish there was some other way for me to end this._

_They just wouldn't let me go. They were controlling my life. I have seen to many people die right in front of me._

_I decided to end my Life because well I was just desperate, I hope in my death that MI6 learn that children shouldn't be doing their job._

_I couldn't live a normal life anymore. I thank you for being the only person believed in me and made what I did something fascinating and something to laugh at. You gave me relief that someone would make it so that I could live life normally, you helped me when I needed it and Laughed to make me laugh you were a brilliant friend and I want you to do something for me._

_Could you tell Jack? I just can't write something for her cause she was… She was the only person who cared for me when I was injured she controlled the crowd that surrounded me, she… She loved me when no one else would._

_And I knew she would as soon as finding a letter would have gone and found me and beat the heck out of MI6_

_A love you mate for everything you did. I'll be making a spot for you next to me wherever the hell it is we go_

_Your Friend _

_Alex_

Alan had seen the crash; after all it was in front of the building. He couldn't believe what had happened. He didn't understand why until he got the letter. He had received it when it was too late.

It Read:

_ALAN BLUNT and TULIP JONES  
you will be reading this after it has been too late. I can even imagine that you had watched it, I can probably say that it was either gruesome or my neck just snapped never know with traffic these days_

_I have sent you this letter in the hopes that my actions would have been clearer than my words but just in case that you didn't understand._

_I died because of YOU_

_You made me unable to live me life anymore_

_All those times I saved people I was killing more and more of myself._

_You forced me to do this; I hope that my death makes you understand my pain_

_As my Last wish I want you to NEVER EVER do what you did to me ever again, never let a child do your work for you get your adults to them you shouldn't have Kids or even teenagers do this job. I watched many die before my eyes, it did damage me but I kept it inside Jack tried to make it better, my friends didn't understand but they at least made me laugh. But what did you do, You SENT ME ON MISSION AFTER MISSION because I would always succeeded, but when I needed you to do the investigating all you did was tell me I was wrong and that I should just go home._

_IT IS YOUR FAULT THAT I DIED  
IT IS YOUR FAULT I WAS UPSET  
IT WAS YOUR FAULT I BECAME WHAT I WAS  
I HOPE YOU NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU DID TO ME _

_May you burn in wherever the bad people go_

_Sincerely Your's_

_Alex Rider. _

Alex sent a letter to the SAS in the hopes that it might reach K-Unit; hopefully they might be able to enforce what Alex was saying, or even stop him before it was too late. He had sent it a week before he did it so that they would receive it around the time of his death

They got it the day before, they had rushed to London in the hopes of stopping him before he could do it but they got to the Royal & General Bank just as Alex did it, they even saw as he walked in front of the truck. They couldn't believe it, they thought Cub was always strong, he would always think of ways to get out of his situation but now they just cried.

Cub held a special place in their hearts, whenever Cub saw them he would always Joke with them and make fun of them. But they noticed how much he suffered. They could see it in his eyes, each time they saw him they looked older and older. The letter they received broke their hearts. It said:

_Hey K-Unit_

_I know you probably wouldn't expect to get a letter from me now would you, Hell I don't even think you knew my proper name. _

_I'm writing this letter in the hopes you would come and save me from what I am going to do. But it is probably too late anyways, I decided that I couldn't take it anymore, I have been used over and over, I have even been left to die a couple of times, and when I needed MI6 they just told me to go away._

_I hope you reach me before I do it, but maybe I already done it, sometimes you can never really trust the postal service._

_I am going to step out in front of traffic in front of the Royal & General Bank on the 1__st__ of November please if you get this before then save me._

_If you don't get there in time then I want you to do one thing for me. Make sure MI6 never EVER again uses children or Teenagers to do their job for them. Make them understand their Mistake._

_Wolf, even though you would always say I was worthless, you always looked after me when you were there, you even took a bullet for me at Point Blanc, thanks so much._

_Fox, I mean Ben, thanks for the help when I was going against Snakehead, you saved me at the arena, you were able to get me to MI6 to get gadgets even when I was in disguise (although I didn't know how you recognised me then, I mean come on I didn't even recognise myself) and you helped me at the oil rig and helped me get to the control room were you were able to get the man guarding Major Yu to die taking a bullet in the process. I never did tell you who that man was, he was my godfather, he was supposed to be my partner, but instead he turned me in._

_Eagle and Snake, even though you guys have never been out to help me on one of my missions, you always made me laugh at your timelessly weird jokes._

_I know they never told what really happened to make me go to hospital; I didn't have Appendicitis or what ever they told you I had. I had been shot, by a sniper. It was supposed to kill me but because I was stepping down onto the road it missed my heart by mere millimetres and instead ricocheted off a rib, however it did hit and artery somehow I survived. Just. When I was shot I stopped breathing for a while and when that happened I actually saw my parents reaching out to take me in their arms, hopefully they will be there for me again._

_I sorry I have to write this kind of letter_

_Thank you for being there_

_Cub_

_P.S My real name is…was Alex Rider._

When K-Unit had reached Royal &General Bank that day they saw Cub walking out onto the road they called his name and tried to get to him but there were too many people, all they could do was watch. At the last moment they saw Cub turn around and smile at them as he was hit by the truck.


End file.
